


Crushed Ribs

by semi_automatic



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Feels, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gender Dysphoria, High School, Lots of shirtless Tyler, Love, M/M, Panic, Rape, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Acceptance, Self-Harm, Trans Male Character, Trans Tyler - Freeform, Transboy, Unaccepting Parents, it ends well i swear, it hurt writing this, so much feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 16:35:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5213003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/semi_automatic/pseuds/semi_automatic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe Tyler just can’t talk right now. Maybe he missed his alarm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-  Hey, why aren’t you here? Something happen?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s three minutes before his phone buzzes and he nearly has a heart attack, racing to open the message.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-  Waiting to go to therapy. My parents found out about Saturday and aren’t happy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Josh gulps nervously.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-  They aren’t going to stop us seeing each other, are they?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Silence. His heart is pounding.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-  I don’t know. I have to go, just got called in. I love you.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Josh runs a hand through his hair, knowing the likelihood of them not being able to see each other anymore, knowing Tyler’s parents only approved of them dating because they saw it as a girl and a boy, knowing that at this very moment Tyler was probably getting birthnamed, and called she, and a girl, and knowing the reasons for the scars.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>-  I love you too</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The message isn’t read for hours.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crushed Ribs

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Fight Back At The Pouring Rain](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4546116) by [twenty_one_plants](https://archiveofourown.org/users/twenty_one_plants/pseuds/twenty_one_plants). 



> This started as me writing about my dysphoria and became a hell of feels

Pink scars on soft pale tissue and whimperings from the boy laying on the bed, trembling and covering his eyes with his hands. The boy on top of him, who was also shirtless, let out a soft gasp, his arms on either side of Tyler, hands splayed.

“Oh, baby boy, what happened? It’s okay, it’s okay…”

Josh carefully lays down next to Tyler, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close. They didn’t _need_  to have sex. Tyler needed to feel better.

It was the first time Tyler had ever taken off his shirt and binder in front of Josh.

The first time he’d undressed in front of someone in a year or more.

He’s still got his eyes covered, still shaking as he feels Josh’s gently hands run along the pinks scratches. He can practically feel Josh frowning next to him.

“Tyler, you did this to yourself, didn’t you? tell me what happened, come on. It’s okay, baby, I just want to know how I can help you…”

“I fucking hate my body,” Tyler says through his hands, the tears welling up in his eyes. His voice shakes. “I hate feeling like this. I hate not feeling right.”

Josh’s hands are soft, carefully touching places on Tyler’s body that shouldn’t even be there. He presses a soft, slow kiss to Tyler’s collar bone, before  reaching to coax Tyler’s hands away from his face. “Tyler, look at me. Hey, hey, it’s okay. Your breasts don’t make you any less of a man. They’re just a body part. They don’t define you. Besides,” Josh kisses Tyler’s left breast, right next to the scars, “I don’t hate them. They make a nice pillow.” He chuckles and lays his head on Tyler’s chest, and Tyler can’t help but smile just a little.

There’s silence, only the sounds of sheets shifting under them and their breathing and Josh can hear Tyler’s heartbeat and he’s so, so glad Tyler is alive.

Even if they don’t have sex.

* * *

Tyler isn’t at school Monday morning, and Josh notices this as soon as the clock hits 7:50. Tyler never shows up to school later than this. Anxious, he ducks into a quiet corner to call him.

Tyler doesn’t answer.

Now nearing a state of panic, remembering the scars on Tyler he found Saturday night, Josh texts him. Maybe Tyler just can’t talk right now. Maybe he missed his alarm.

  * _Hey, why aren’t you here? Something happen?_




__

It’s three minutes before his phone buzzes and he nearly has a heart attack, racing to open the message.

  * _Waiting to go to therapy. My parents found out about Saturday and aren’t happy._




__

Josh gulps nervously.

  * _They aren’t going to stop us seeing each other, are they?_




__

Silence. His heart is pounding.

  * _I don’t know. I have to go, just got called in. I love you._




Josh runs a hand through his hair, knowing the likelihood of them not being able to see each other anymore, knowing Tyler’s parents only approved of them dating because they saw it as _a girl and a boy_ , knowing that at this very moment Tyler was probably getting _birthnamed_ , and called she, and a girl, and knowing the reasons for the scars.

  * _I love you too_




__

The message isn’t read for hours.

* * *

When Tyler arrives at lunch, he looks fucking terrified, and everything is falling out of his backpack, and he isn’t wearing his binder.

Josh abandons his tray of food to go over to the boy and kiss him, taking his hand. “Hey baby, how’d therapy go today?”

Tyler shakes his head, his wide eyes trained on a spot over Josh’s shoulder. Josh turns to look and sees a gathering of what looks like jocks, people he’d rather die than be near. After a second, Tyler focuses on Josh, pulling Josh in front of him, as though using him as a barrier.

“J-Josh, come to the bathroom with me, please? i-I need to put my b-binder on, and I’m s-scared to go in alone…”

His eyes flick over Josh’s shoulder again, and suddenly Josh understands.

“Yeah, of course. Come on, everything will be fine.”

He wraps his arm around Tyler’s waist, leading him to the bathroom with him, making sure to keep himself between Tyler and the group of jocks and fuckboys.

Tyler retreats into the bathroom stall and Josh watches clothes being hung on the door momentarily, hears the sounds of tight fabric being pulled over resistant skin.

Josh can’t imagine how it must feel.

“Fuck,” he hears Tyler whisper, stepping out of the stall. Josh looks at him with concern. Tyler has his arms crossed over his chest, squeezing. “The sides are starting to rip. Like, really badly.” He bites his lip, looking at the floor.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’ve had that thing for a while now, haven’t you? Maybe it’s just time for a new one. How much do they cost?” he asks, putting an arm around Tyler’s shoulder.

“Josh, I can’t let you do that. Besides, you’re already on sketchy ground with my parents. If you did that, a-and they found out--”

Tyler is cut off by Josh kissing him slowly and softly.

“Hey, hey, don’t worry about that. I’m here right now, okay, and nothing can take this away. Let’s go eat lunch, okay?”

* * *

Josh is literally scared to death that night, when Tyler jumps in his window and Josh drops his DS, dying in battle in his game. He looks over at Tyler, who is ripping sticky notes off of Josh’s wall. The sticky notes are all things Tyler wrote in class and gave to Josh, which Josh had cherished and kept.

Now they lay scattered across the floor.

Tears dripped down onto the ones immediately at Tyler’s feet.

Josh sprang up, quickly wrapping Tyler in his arms and pulling him onto the bed.

“Baby boy, baby boy what’s wrong, oh god what happened, it’s okay just tell me, tell me and I’ll fix it Tyler, it’s okay.”

The boy shakes his head, eyes squeezed shut. “N-No, it’s _n-not_ okay and you _c-can’t_ fix t-this, Josh. I-I’m not allowed to s-see you anymore. I’m not even supposed to _b-be_ here right now…” He sobbed loudly and curled into Josh’s chest, staining his shirt with tears. Josh is shaking and very near tears himself but he simply holds Tyler tightly and shushes him.

Then he realizes that Tyler is still wearing the binder.

“Tyler, have you had that on all day?” he asks, knowing he won’t have to clarify. Tyler hesitates, then nods. Josh sighs. “Baby boy, please take it off.” Tyler doesn’t move, and Josh leans back to look at him. “Tyler. Take off your binder.”

Tyler sighs, knowing he won’t get out of this. “Okay, fine. Just a second.” He stands up to go to the bathroom and Josh grabs his hands.

“Tyler. In here. Please.”

He needs to know Tyler is okay.

Defeated, Tyler moves out of Josh’s grip and pulls off his shirt, revealing tattered grey fabric, gaping holes on the sides, string hanging off the back. Josh realizes that when Tyler said it was ripping badly, he mean it was about to come apart.

Then Tyler pulls that over his head, and Josh can tell it comes off far too easily. Tyler trembles as he stands in front of Josh, red lines now replacing the pink. Josh notices spots of blood on the inside of Tyler’s binder and nearly bursts into tears.

He stands up and pulls Tyler into a tight hug, carefully however not to crush his ribs. They’ve already spent the whole day crushed. Josh carefully massages Tyler’s sides, rocking him back and forth gently.

“Tyler, it’s going to be okay. I promise you. One day we’ll make your body comfortable for you, but for now please, please don’t hurt yourself anymore. I can’t stand to see this.”

He simply pets Tyler’s hair for a moment, remembering being the one to cut it for him, since his parents  would never let him go to a real barber. Besides, Josh thought he’d done an even better job than a barber could.

“We’ll still get to see each other at school, right?”

Tyler lets out another soft sob, and Josh feels his heart sink.

“M-My parents called the s-school… My whole s-schedule’s getting c-changed… I won’t have a-any classes with you… Not even l-lunch…”

Josh’s heart breaks.

“Oh god Tyler… We’ll find a way… I promise we’ll find a way… We’ll still have morning times, right? They won’t take that away from us. I’ll sneak out of class during your lunch… We’ll meet in the library… I don’t care, Tyler, we’ll find some way, I promise you…”

Tyler just cries, shaking and letting Josh hold him, taking deep breathes without the pressure of the binder, but now with the pressure of knowing that he’s fucking _alone_.

* * *

Both of the boys arrive at school extra early the next morning, simply to sit together in the booths in the lunchroom, Tyler curled up with his head on Josh’s chest, silent and shaky.

Tyler looks like he’s preparing for the electric chair or a suicide mission.

He doesn’t ask Josh to come with him to put on his binder.

“Josh,” he says, just a few minutes before the bell rings. “I don’t wanna do this. My parents said they t-told the teachers to call me my b-birth name and s-she pronouns… And said they t-told the teachers that if they s-see me wearing my b-binder the send me to the p-principal’s o-office…”

Tyler starts crying again, and Josh can feel his heart breaking. He wishes he could mend Tyler’s body himself.

“That’s fucking awful Tyler… God I’m so sorry, baby boy… I wish I could do something… I’ll find some law, some loophole or something… This isn’t fucking right…”

The bell rings and Tyler’s still crying and Josh doesn’t want to let go.

He gives Tyler one last kiss.

“It’ll get better, Tyler, I promise. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Tyler says, wiping his tears before heading off to class, looking exactly like he’s walking into the arms of death.

* * *

Josh is in  the middle of class when his phone starts buzzing.

He ignores it at first, until it starts up a second time.

He quickly checks it under the desk, wondering who in the world is calling him during school.

_**Tyler.** _

Josh’s heart leaps into his throat. He knows something’s wrong. He isn’t sure what lets him know this, he just does.

Practically jumping up, asking to use the bathroom.

He’s told he can go, but the reluctant teacher stares at him as he runs out of the room.

It doesn’t matter.

He needs to know Tyler’s okay.

He answers the phone call. “Tyler? Baby boy? Are you okay?”

On the other end, he hears boys laughing, Tyler shrieking.

The sound of a body hitting the tile wall and collapsing to the floor.

Josh can’t do anything. He’s trying to think of where they might be.

The bathroom.

Tyler was always scared to use the boy’s bathroom alone, would always watch the jocks anxiously as they stared.

Josh bolted.

He could hear the boys taunting Tyler on the other end, calling him _a pretty girl, Jessica, a slut._

Josh didn’t notice his own tears as he heard Tyler begging them.

More shrieking.

The sounds of struggle, then clothes rustling to the ground, the sounds of heavy belts hitting the floor.

Josh was wheezing, tripping down the stairs.

A teacher coming in a door grabbed him, stopping him.

“Joshua Dun, what the hell is wrong with you? Where are you running to? Why are you crying?”

Josh yanks his arm away. “T-They’re hurting T-Tyler… I h-have to get to Tyler…”

“What do you mean? Jessica? Who’s hurting her?” The teacher looks utterly confused, and Josh is hearing screaming on the phone.

_**There’s no time.** _

“You d-don’t understand…” Josh says, turning to run again, but the teacher stops him.

“Joshua, I need to know what’s going on--”

“No!” Josh yells, pushing the teacher away.

Every second is just Tyler getting hurt more and more and more and more and more and--

Josh drops his phone when he gets to the door of the bathroom, yanking at the door handle. He can hear the boys inside but he can’t hear Tyler.

The door is _locked._

Banging on the door, yelling. “Get the fuck off him! Open the fucking door! Open it! **_Open this fucking doo_ _r_ _!_** ”

Laughter.

Faintly, he hears Tyler crying, then choking sounds.

Josh can’t do anything.

Maybe he can find some law, some punishment, make the boys pay, but right now, he can’t do anything for Tyler.

He gives up on banging on the door, begging them to open it, let his baby boy go, please please please just don’t hurt him any more.

One boy hollers something about the tranny, how he’d always wanted to fuck one.

Josh feels his lungs collapse.

Thinking back to Saturday, _almost their first time_.

He can’t hear Tyler anymore.

He doesn’t know how long it is before the doors open.

_Too long._

The boys are laughing, pushing at Josh and telling him, “Your girlfriend’s a great fucktoy, man.”

Josh pushes past them, into the bathroom.

Tyler was on the floor, bruised and naked and his whole body shaking. Covered in come and blood on the floor and sobbing quietly.

“Fuck, oh god baby boy, oh god…”

Josh kneels next to Tyler, grabbing paper towels, dampening them and trying to clean him off. He’s unresponsive, broken. Come and blood drips from his mouth, between his legs, and purple handprints are now over the pink-red scratches on Tyler’s chest.

Josh _can’t_ fix this.

* * *

Tyler isn’t at school the next day.

Or the next.

Or the next.

The whole week, gone.

The next week, too.

He wouldn’t answer phone calls and Josh is sick with worry, but, surely, someone would have told him if something happened, right?

It makes him fucking sick that he _isn’t there_ to hold his baby boy after what happened, it makes him sick knowing that Tyler’s parents probably _don’t give a shit_ , knowing Tyler probably _didn’t even fucking tell them_.

While sitting alone in his room, too worried to do anything, the image of Tyler on the bathroom floor still stuck in his head, his mother comes up to his room.

“Hey Josh? Mrs. Joseph says she wants you to come see J-- Tyler this week. I knew you’d want to see him. Weren’t you going to give him something?”

Josh can barely believe that he’s being allowed to see Tyler. He sits up quickly. “Y-Yeah, can I go over there now?”

“I guess so. It’s only eight and it is the weekend. I’ll let her know you’re on the way.”

Josh hurries around the room, stuffing his backpack full of drawing pads and two of Josh’s sweaters and some male deodorant and cologne. He starts to leave the room but stops, running back and grabbing a slim plastic package from his closet. Then he leaves.

It’s a quick walk only a couple of streets over to Tyler’s house, and Josh feels himself getting nervous at how Tyler’s parents are probably reacting to all of this.

He rings the doorbell, palms sweaty.

He needs to know Tyler is okay.

Tyler’s mother opens the door.

“Oh, good, Josh. We’ve been so worried. Jessica won’t come out of her room and won’t talk or anything. Do you have any idea what’s going on?”

Josh stares, speechless.

“You don’t… _You don’t know?!_ ”

He can feel his blood heating up, feels angry tears build as he stares her dead in the face.

“Do you want to know what’s _wrong_ with _Tyler_ , your _son_? What’s _fucking wrong_ is you took him out of all of the classes we had together, so I _couldn’t fucking protect him_. You made him feel _wrong_ and like _shit_ and made him _fucking uncomfortable._ I _couldn’t protect_ him anymore and he got _raped, Mrs. Joseph, your son was fucking raped two weeks ago and_ _it’s your fault.”_

She stares at Josh in shock and he stomps past her, not caring what she has to say. All he cares about is knowing that Tyler is okay.

“Baby boy, it’s me, Josh,” he calls, coming up to Tyler’s door, which he knows is locked. He knocks softly. “Can I please come in? I brought you some things.”

“Go away,” Tyler says, and Josh can tell he’s been crying and hasn’t used his voice in days. He sighs.

“Tyler, if you won’t let me in through the door, I’ll come in your window, but I’ll have to go through thorns. Do you want me to have to go through thorns to get to you? I will if I have to.”

There’s silence, then he hears the bed shift, hears the door unlock, and he carefully pushes it open.

Tyler stands there in pajama pants. He’s shirtless, but has ace bandages wound tightly around his ribs, binding down his chest, and Josh can tell that he’s barely able to take a full breath.

Josh drops his backpack, stepping in and shutting the door.

“Tyler… T-Take those off… Please… H-How long have you been w-wearing those?”

Tyler doesn’t move, doesn’t speak, and Josh sighs, moving forward and beginning to pull off the tight bandages, all too tight around his baby, unraveling them.

“Tyler, tell me how long.”

Tyler shrugs. “I don’t know. What day is it?”

Josh sighs and pulls him into a gentle hug, careful again not to crush his already bruised rib cage, fingers feeling the grooves from where the bandages dug into his skin, Tyler whimpering when Josh touched bruises.

“I’m so sorry, baby boy…”

Tyler cries.

“W-Why did you l-let them… _D-Do_ that to m-me? Why d-didn’t you _s-stop_ them? It _h-hurt_ … I felt so d-disgusting… They called me a p-pretty slut… I t-thought my first t-time was gonna be with y-you… Why did this _h-happen?”_

Josh stroked Tyler’s hair gently. “I tried, Tyler… I tried to get there as fast as I could… I t-tried to get them to o-open the d-door… I did, I p-promise I did… I’m s-so fucking sorry they h-hurt you, baby boy… I’m so sorry… I’ll never let it happen again, okay? You’re safe now. You’re safe. You’re gonna be okay. Come here…”

He grabbed his backpack and pulled Tyler to the bed, sitting down next to him.

“I brought you some stuff… Look… Here’s some deodorant, it’s the kind I use, and here’s a couple of my hoodies… I know how much you like to steal them…”

Josh pulls the items out of his backpack one by one, until only the flat package remains.

“H-Hey, Tyler, w-were you wearing those bandages because your binder broke?”

Tyler shakes his head. “M-My mom threw it a-away… Or at least, I c-couldn’t find it anywhere in here…”

“Well…” Josh starts to pull out the package. “I-I bought you a new one and I h-hope it’s the right size… It should be… T-Thirty six D, right? I h-hope it’s the right size… B-But you can’t wear it until those bruises and scratches are all healed, okay? I’ll come over and rub lotion on your ribs e-every day if you want me too… I just want to help you, Tyler…”

There are tears running down Tyler’s cheeks and he’s silent for a minute, before he pulls Josh into the tightest hug ever, and Josh wonders if this is what a binder felt like. Tyler kissed him, long and slow, tangling his fingers in Josh’s hair.

“T-Thank you… Thank you s-so much… God… I love you so much, Josh… C-Can you spend the night?”

Josh shrugs. “I don’t think my parents will care, but what about yours?”

“We’ll lock the door.”

They both smiled and giggled, falling back into the bed and kissing slowly, kissing everywhere. Tyler pulled off Josh’s shirt and pants before stripping down into boxers himself, and the two simply laid with their bodies against each other, kissing and touching, no more than that.

They didn’t need sex.

**  
For once, Tyler was almost okay.**


End file.
